The unintended career break
And the lessons we can learn from Winter.
Sometimes a career break is forced on us. Like a bolt from the blue. It might happen because of our work - a redundancy, restructure, or project cancellation - or it could be triggered by life itself - the loss of a loved one, a relationship break-up, an accident… a global pandemic. Recently, I found myself on an unexpected break due to my health. I’m fortunate that it was resolved quickly. It wasn’t life threatening or very dramatic at all really. But, it was enough to force me temporarily out of work and into rest.
I’m terrible at being sick. I don’t know what to do when I’m supposed to do nothing. So I default to doing something, albeit at a slower pace. That’s how I began my unexpected break. Juggling rest while I continued to work from home. Of course, that failed miserably. It served only to extend my health issues and frustrate my ever-patient family. Which means I found myself stopped. Proper.
Initially I resented my body for slowing me down. But as time ticked by I found myself wondering what was the lesson I needed to learn (or re-learn)? What was the point and value of stopping?
“We have seasons when we flourish, and seasons when the leaves fall from us, revealing our bare bones”
Winter: A season of life
In her hauntingly beautiful book “Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times”, Katherine May writes “we are in the habit of imagining our lives to be linear… this is a brutal untruth. Life meanders like a path through the woods. We have seasons when we flourish, and seasons when the leaves fall from us, revealing our bare bones. Given time, they grow again.”
Wintering is a metaphor for the darker times in our life. And May makes the case for us all to embrace it. To welcome and accept it as a slow and quiet time of retreat and reflection. Be it to heal, to grieve, to recover, renew or restore. Her view is that Wintering is not only a season of the natural world, but a respite that our bodies require and also a state of mind. In our relentlessly busy modern world, it’s rather unfashionable, yet more essential than ever.
“Doing those deeply unfashionable things—slowing down, letting your spare time expand, getting enough sleep, resting— it is essential”
There’s a natural human tendency to try and avoid winter. It’s our least favourite season to endure, and we’re tempted to delay or minimise it by cheating…maybe in Fiji or the Gold Coast for that mid-winter dose of sunshine? “We are forever trying to defer the onset of winter”, May says, “we don’t ever dare to feel its full bite. We must stop believing that these times in our lives are somehow silly, a failure of nerve, a lack of [strength or] willpower. We must stop trying to ignore them or dispose of them. They are real, and they are asking something of us. We must learn to invite the winter in.”
“Learn to invite the winter in”
The wisdom of Winter
Wintering offers more than the space and time we need to heal or recharge, it is also a season for growth. May describes it as “a time that brings about some of the most profound and insightful moments of our human experience. Here is another truth about Wintering,” she writes - “you’ll find wisdom in your Winter, and once it’s over, it’s your responsibility to pass it on.”
So what wisdom did I find in the unexpected winter of mine? A reminder about the most important priorities in life - all simple, but unequivocally true:
Patience - to give myself grace and accept the need for down-time. Our body always knows the answer before our mind.
Health - is crucial for me to be a vital human who can contribute to my family and the world. It must come first. Always. Without fail.
Family - are often the first to suffer when our work demands attention. But they are the ones who care and cook, nurse and nurture. The ones who pick up the pieces and help put them back together.
Friendship - is a life-force. So important and empowering, yet also de-prioritised in the face of deadlines and demands. I’ve been humbled and heartened by beautiful gestures and messages of friendship each day. Often from delightfully unexpected sources.
Work goes on…. without us, regardless of how ‘important’ we are.
So, next time you find yourself on an unintended career break or in your own version of Wintering - how might you make the most of this gift of time and space? What is your winter teaching you? What is the wisdom you need to learn and share? And what might you do differently now?
Love J xx
“That’s the gift of winter: change will happen in its wake. We can come out of it wearing a different coat”
PS. If you’re a listener rather than a reader, you can hear more about Wintering on these podcasts Wild with Sarah Wilson (46mins) and Moms don’t have time to read books (25mins).