The inside story
A career transition isn’t just a change of job, it’s a change in you
Lately, I’ve been curious about the things that have changed since making the leap from my old career. The obvious thing that I knew would change as a result of taking that leap was my job. But I’ve also noticed something else changed along the way - me.
A ‘new me’ has emerged from making that original leap and the transition that followed. She is stronger, more confident and powerful, and I really like her! But lately, I’ve noticed a weird friction between this ‘new me’ and the ‘former me’ who I lived with for the 40 plus years prior. A surprising and unexpected tension has been at play between their two voices. To be clear, this is all playing out in my head. But it’s also having a surprisingly tangible, physical impact.
The old vs the new
The ‘old me’ voice is a high achiever, a good girl and a people-pleaser. She is kind and thoughtful, but not great at prioritising herself or setting boundaries. Hers is the voice telling me what I ‘should’ do and her messages are based on old conditioning, fears, limitations and systems. While they are all things that served me well in the past, they don’t feel like a comfortable fit anymore (sadly, a bit like my favourite trousers).
The ‘new me’ is stronger, a bit more sassy and much more insistent. She’s not interested in being told what she ‘should’ do, and more inclined to speak her truth. If I was to give her a name, it would be ‘Beyonce’! Her voice was unlocked last year when I got brave. When I made the decision to quit my job, acted on my instinct to do that without a new role to go to, and prioritised a bunch of things that I believed in. It’s almost as though that voice has been let out of a cage and she’s here to stay.
“Transitions can be opportunities for refining and shaping; as well as a time for gaining insight, clarity, and perspective.”
Gaining clarity
When I reflect on the last year, there’s plenty I’m proud of. I’m proud of starting this blog and starting a new job. Proud of being vulnerable and courageous. Proud of reconnecting with important and old relationships and proud of taking responsibility for my own growth. It was a year of transition - both physical and psychological - and I’ve emerged at the other end feeling stronger and more powerful.
Dr Benjamin Hardy says “all progress starts, by telling the truth”. My truth right now, is that my old tools and stories for navigating life no longer seem to work as they once did. The inner voice that guided me in the past, is no longer serving me. In contrast, the new voice feels like a better fit for the new me. I can see how they both have a role to play. But right now, the two voices are opposing forces. If I’m really honest, sometimes the new voice is ignoring really good guidance from the old voice, just to be stubborn. And it’s creating a stalemate.
“When things change inside you things change around you”
Striking the balance
I’m fortunate to be working with a leadership coach and last week we tried to unpick this phenomenon of my two voices and how to mediate their messages. Here’s where we landed…
Prioritise the things that make me stronger
Marcus Buckingham talks about designing your life in a way that lets you spend more time playing to your strengths. He argues that strengths are not just things we’re good at, they’re also things that strengthen us. He suggests that we ditch the idea of balance and instead ‘tilt’ our lives towards doing more of the things that make us stronger.
The idea of leaning-in to the things that make me stronger is helpful for me. From now on I’ll be taking more notice of what things I feel drawn to, and what makes me feel stronger.Keep the Essentials, ditch the Expendables
Leadership writer Professor Heifetz argues that successfully navigating significant or ‘adaptive change’ - requires that we distinguish between what’s essential and what’s expendable. For example, preserving things that are core to your identity, and being prepared to leave other things behind in order to move forward.
So I’m also going to take more notice of my internal monologue and distinguish between what’s essential and expendable. It could be as simple as ‘essentials’ being things that make me feel stronger. If something feels like a should that no longer serves me, then I’ll let it go and move on.
In hindsight, the past 12 months have been more than just physical change for me, it’s also been a major psychological transition. I’ve emerged with a new outlook and way of being. Clearly, this also means it’s time to (kindly) let go of the old voices and messages that no longer serve me, and to keep trusting the instincts that are guiding me forward. Let’s see how it goes…
Love J x
“Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow know what you truly want to become.”