The emotion of transitions
Since I started blogging about my career journey, I’ve been amazed at the number of people around me who are also at a transition point in their careers. The impact of Covid and lockdowns, border closures and talent shortages, working from home and school shut-downs have caused many of us to reassess how we spend our time.
Recently, I was speaking with a close friend who is in transition mode and she was surprised at all the feelings coming up for her. It reminded me of my own journey through ‘the messy middle’. In many ways leaving a job is a bit like a relationship breakup. There’s a powerful sense of loss and sadness, even if we ourselves are the instigator of the change.
“There’s a powerful sense of loss and sadness, even if we are the instigator of the change.”
In hindsight, my own experience of transitioning had distinct phases and strong feelings. A little bit like the stages of grief, albeit a ‘career transition’ version. Mine went something like this…
Exhaustion - initially I felt tired, worn out, and a little bit numb. Probably to be expected after leaving a job - it’s usually a race to the finish line to make sure everything is left in a good space. During this time I learned that I needed to switch off, be kind to myself, have some downtime, and create space to rest and recover.
Sadness - there was also real sadness and a sense of loss. Loss of friendships, my daily bike ride to work, and my sense of identity (which was closely tied to being ‘the boss’).
Fear - my inner critic was very shouty, causing me to question my self-worth. What would I do next? Who would want me? What would that look like?
Acceptance - I began to accept where I was at, and that I didn’t have all the answers yet (and nor did anyone else).
Curiosity - I started exploring options, ideas and job ads. Met with people who were working in spaces that interested me. And talking to lots of different people about opportunities.
Hope - then, as I began to feel re-energised and could see opportunities around me, I became optimistic and excited about designing my future.
It’s not easy to sit with negative feelings like sadness and loss and fear. But it’s a natural and healing process. To help me navigate this time, I started this blog and searched for quotes that would inspire me for the day (which have evolved into Career Journeying on Instagram ), and I did lots of talking with friends and family. Feeling their support and unlocking new ideas and opportunities was game changing.
It also helps to know we’re not alone. And it turns out there are lots of us in a similar space. Tara Mohr calls it The Chrysalis Time. A time of transition and change. A time when we’re way-finding and exploring. It’s a time that comes to us all, and a natural time of retreat. Her guidance is helpful - accept it, be kind to yourself and be curious about what’s emerging for you. During this time there’s no pressure to have a clear plan or find all the answers. Just be kind to yourself and brave enough to take the next best step.
“If you are in chrysalis time, this is your work – the acceptance, the compassion, and the proactive inquiry into what is emerging.”
Slowly but surely I started to emerge from my chrysalis. Sensing opportunities, feeling hopeful, optimistic, brave and strong. I still don’t have all the answers, but I’m taking things one step at a time. Knowing that the next step doesn’t need to be perfect, and it doesn’t need to be permanent.
Love J xx